In life, we are placed in different situations or relationships that can often leave us feeling a sense of inadequacy about ourselves. Perhaps we are starting a new school year, a new career, or relocating for a job. Maybe we are newly married, first-time homeowners, or first-time parents. Wherever we find ourselves in life, we all embark on new journeys that causes us to face new challenges.
For me, those new journeys happened fast! I graduated from high school and before I could blink I was pregnant and married. No, seriously. I graduated in June 2004, found out I was pregnant in Oct 2004, and got married in Dec 2004-but that testimony is for another time. The point of today's blog is to share my truth and struggles dealing with feelings of inadequacy and how I overcame those feelings.
If I am being honest with you all, I've had numerous struggles with feelings of inadequacy, but the feelings of inadequacy as a mother really took a toll on me for a while. I dealt with those feelings for years, however, 2012-2017 were the most difficult years for me. Any negative thoughts that a mother could ever have about herself-I had them.
Other women would often say things like:
"Oh, you're such a great mom."
"I wish I could be the mom to my kids that you are to your boys."
"You make having four boys look so easy. Help me! How do you do it? I'm about to go crazy with just 1 or 2."
The list goes on with compliments and praises that I've heard over the years. However, I couldn't accept hearing those kind things about myself in my time of feeling like the worse mom ever, because, in my mind and heart, those kind words were far from the truth.
I received counsel from a well-respected leader of mine during that difficult season of my life and she revealed to me that I was experiencing a stronghold. That stronghold was something I dealt with for years and God used my leader at that moment to lovingly explain to me what was happening. I was so blessed that God used her to explain to me what was going on in my life. I was also blessed by our conversation because I felt lost and I didn't know what to do. But God allowed her to hear my cry for help, and through her, He spoke to me.
During this time, one of my friends texted me because she was feeling a little down about some different things going on in her life. Would you believe that she was going through the same thing? This particular friend is actually one of the ladies I quoted earlier. She looked up to me as a mom and I could never understand why because of my own personal struggles. I was beyond blessed that she texted me. As I read her text, I begin to praise God. He knew what I had been dealing with and He led her to me. Why? Because I was struggling with the same thing and who better to pour into her heart than someone who knows exactly what she is going through. I was right there with her! Not feeling like a good mom. Feeling like a failure, like my boys deserve better. I felt I didn't do enough, I didn't love them enough. I truly thought they deserved more than who I could be and what I could give them. Fortunately, I was reminded that I am good enough. God gave me these boys because He saw something in me that I couldn't see in myself.
After I received counseling, I knew I had to take control. I was allowing the enemy room to play in my mind and make me believe his lies. Those thoughts and feelings of inadequacy were not of God. Godly thoughts don't make us feel down or bad about ourselves. He created us to be beautiful and talented people in our own unique ways. Only the lies the enemy tells us makes us believe that we aren't good enough. I had to choose to stop believing the lies of the enemy that made me feel unworthy! God loves us so much. He thought enough of me to be the mother of my precious babies. They could have been anyone else's children, but they are mine! With that truth tucked in my heart, I was reminded that I am worthy and I was able to start walking my life out as a mother to my four boys the way my Father intended me to.
Healing started to take place as I rejected the lies of the enemy and accepted God's truths about myself. My dear friend and I walked through that season together embracing God's truth about who we are. She reached out to me for help, but God used that moment to heal us both. Isn't He amazing?!
I felt hope that I didn't feel before. I felt joy in my heart that I couldn't feel before. I was truly standing on God’s truth about who I was as a mother instead of the lies the enemy made me believe for so long. For once, I felt free. I was FREE! I was able to believe that I was a wonderful mother of four beautiful boys. I was able to believe that I do enough, I say enough and I love enough because I AM ENOUGH! Not because of who I am in my eyesight or because of anything I've done, but because of who I am in my Father's eyesight and all He allows me to do in His strength and love that flows through me! So I no longer shoot down compliments from the people around me. I humbly embrace those compliments along with those sweet and encouraging words as a "job well done" from my Father!
So no matter what title God allows you to hold-student, new employee/employer, homeowner, husband, wife, father, mom, son, daughter, grandparents, aunt, sister, friend, cousin, nephew, niece, godmother, stay at home mom, homemaker, etc. Whomever you are and whatever you do, OWN IT! Walk in it. God placed you there for a reason. You are exactly where He wants you to be! Like one of my Sister's in Christ told me, "Bloom in the season God has you in." Allow God to do His work in you so you can blossom the way He intends you to!
My prayer is that each of you will embrace this special truth-You are enough! Walk in the truth that God has set before us and not the lies the enemy wants us to believe about ourselves!
Psalms 139:13-18
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
Thank You, Lord, for creating each of us to be exactly who we are! Help us to see and love ourselves the way You do! Amen!
Until next time, blessings to you all ❤